


it just is

by lamperouge



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, First Loves, Fluff, Kageyachi - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Pining, kinda slow burn? i guess?, unedited - we die like robins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamperouge/pseuds/lamperouge
Summary: the moon rises above the mountains and he watches, thinking about how love is way more confusing than english, japanese literature, and train station routes altogether.[ kageyama falls in love for the first time. ]
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	it just is

**Author's Note:**

> better if you listen to [this](https://soundcloud.com/eajpark/it-just-is)

_you always lit my shadow_

_and the one who shares my sorrow_

_with you with you with you it’s different_

_i don’t know why_

_it just is_

[ it just is - eaj, seori (ft. keshi’s strat) ]

-

**there are a lot of things that kageyama doesn’t quite understand:** english, japanese literature, chopping up vegetables, how to talk to people without making _that_ face that scares them, talking to people without making an insensitive remark before he could even realize, and _women._ the last one scares him to death more than he’d like to imagine, because who even could understand what goes on in women’s heads right? 

hence the reason why he chose to stay as _far_ away from them as possible, with the exception of his mother and his older sister — the only women in his life that he’s half certain he could understand (but not completely). the rest of them? they’re all strange and the last thing he would want is to make a mistake that would make them _hate_ him. 

so kageyama finds himself backed away into a metaphorical corner when he sees yachi crying in the storage room of their volleyball gymnasium all by her lonesome. 

there are two options that he could do: a. run away and pretend he never saw anything and give yachi her privacy, or b: comfort her, even if he’s absolutely _shit_ at comforting people. it should be obvious which choice kageyama is going to make, but he decides against it and approaches yachi. 

he closes the door of the storage room quietly, making sure that no one else would hear, before making his presence known. they’re enveloped in darkness now, there’s a hint of light from the small gap underneath the door, but it’s not enough to light the room so that he sees where he's going.

“hey, yachi, what’s wrong?” he asks, hoping to whatever existing god there is that his voice is soft enough so that he doesn’t startle her. 

“ _oh,_ kageyama, you’re here.” yachi sniffles and he could hear her wipe her face with the sleeve of her jacket. 

he takes his seat right next to her, “yeah. i think i dropped the flashcards i made for a quiz in here.” 

there’s a short pause in the air, and it ends with yachi laughing, “oh kageyama, only you would drop your flashcards in the storage room.” 

the world around him stops, and it’s as dramatic as it will ever be. he could feel the air being sucked away from his chest as he listens to yachi laugh while they’re engulfed by complete darkness. her shoulders are shaking against his, and he reckons that him dropping his flashcards in the storage room must have been funny enough for her to shake in amusement. 

“but yachi, what’s wrong?” this time, his voice is just soft enough for the two of them to hear. he thinks he whispered it in her ear, but then again he couldn’t see enough and only turned his head to speak next to her. all he knows is that he’s close enough that their shoulders are touching and he could smell the vanilla scented shampoo from yachi’s ponytail. 

“it’s stupid.” her sigh feels heavy against his chest, and he gets the _desperate_ need to make it go away. 

“how do i know it’s stupid if you haven’t told me yet?” he asks her — and somehow he thinks that it’s not the _right_ words to say. how could he ask her that? he should have tried to be more comforting, not talk to her like she’s hinata or someone else. 

yachi stills, her shoulders stop moving and then she lets out another sigh. “you’re right. well… i guess i just don’t really know if i’m doing well as a manager for the team. i know kiyoko did so well and that she’s earned the respect of everyone in the team but me? i’m— i don’t think i can ever come close to who she is for the rest of you.” 

“well obviously you can’t come close to who she is,” kageyama wonders aloud. 

“ _huh?”_ yachi’s surprised reply catches him off guard though, and he _immediately_ takes it back. 

“not like that, yachi! not at all! i just meant to say that… well… how else would you come close if you’re not kiyoko? only she can manage the team the way she does, and you… well you’re obviously different from her. you didn’t have to worry about that at all.” his cheeks are warming up and he’s _praying_ that she didn’t take his statement the wrong way at all. 

maybe tsukishima is right; maybe he _does_ need to work on his social interactions. 

there’s a strange warmth on top of his hand, followed by a gentle squeeze. 

“thank you, kageyama.” 

he doesn’t know for sure but he thinks yachi is smiling, and his chest swells with a warmth he couldn’t quite understand. 

“no problem, yachi.” 

they sit in silence for a while and kageyama only stands and offers her his hand when he realizes that it should only be a few minutes before practice starts, and if anyone found _them_ here they would be dead meat and subject to never ending teasing for the rest of the school year. _or,_ he could be subject to a disciplinary action from the rest of the volleyball team because he understands that yachi _is_ precious. 

so precious. 

when she takes his hand and hoists herself up, she pulls him close and into a hug as well. 

“you staying here with me meant a lot.” she says against his chest and it feels so dangerously intimate that it sends sparks flying up kageyama’s spine. 

biology is not his biggest strength, but he does know the feeling of his heartbeat synchronizing with hers in this small moment of theirs in the dark storage room of the karasuno high gymnasium. the moment only lasted seconds before yachi awkwardly moved away and left the room, but to kageyama it felt like _forever._

-

**bus rides to tokyo can be long.** the distance doesn’t change, and neither does the driving of both mr. takeda and coach ukai. yet it somehow feels excruciatingly long today. kageyama chalks it up to his lack of rest and his persistence on acing the english exam he had to take yesterday to the point where he didn’t even sleep at all. 

had coach ukai heard of this, he’d have an earful for sure. 

kageyama sits by his lonesome until he feels the seat next to him dip, a familiar scent of vanilla shampoo coats the air and he’s prompted to actually turn his head from looking at the window to yachi who sat next to him. 

the moment he looks at her, she cheerfully hands him a meat bun. the smile on her face allows for kageyama to subconsciously think about how he looks in the moment. does he look fine? if he curls the upper corner of his lip just a few inches, would it look like he’s smiling? what if it scares yachi so early in the morning? 

“oh… do you not want a meat bun?” she asks, the smile on her face falling as she slowly retracts her arm. 

“ _no no._ i do want a meat bun… please.” the last part sounds like he’s desperate, but who could blame him? the meat bun just smells so good and on top of it all, it came from yachi who even made the effort of sitting next to him and giving him that bright smile on her face. 

“alright!” the smile on her face is back and she brings out a meat bun of her own too when kageyama takes the one meant for him. 

they eat together quietly in the bus, with nothing but the roar of the road and the snores of their teammates to fill the bus with sound. 

to kageyama, it feels good to be able to share this little moment with yachi. even if he’s socially inept and couldn’t maintain proper conversations without scaring the receiving end, he’s still here able to somewhat keep up with sweet and kind yachi. 

“are you excited to go back to training camp?” yachi asks him, with the same cheerful smile on her face. her smile is so bright and beautiful that kageyama — for just a split second — thinks that he wants this to be the sight he sees every morning before school starts. 

_idiot._ he thinks. why would yachi smile at him every morning? she probably just sat next to him because she took pity upon him. 

“eh i guess i am.” his words are so condensed that it sends yachi back into her nervous shell once more. kageyama doesn’t bother trying to save the situation though, because he really doesn’t want to take up too much of precious yachi’s time. 

he is an unworthy subject of yachi’s attention. 

all the while he’s mulling over these thoughts, yachi manages to sneak in an earbud into his ear. kageyama would have been visibly shocked if he didn’t try so hard to contain his cool. 

she plays an english song that starts off with a calming guitar intro followed by a soft voice of a girl singing in a foreign language he does not understand. the artist’s voice calms him down just enough to be able to look at yachi who’s already finished her meat bun and seems to be enjoying the song with her eyes closed. 

instead of cowering away, kageyama takes this as the perfect opportunity to actually _look_ at yachi. sweet, precious yachi who’s always kind and passionate about their team. her eyes are shut and kageyama could see her long lashes settled on her glowing skin that looks absolutely amazing under the light of the morning sun. there’s a slight smile playing on her lips and he’s not entirely sure if she’s consciously doing it or not because it looks _amazing_ and he thinks that he wants to make her smile like that for the following days to come. 

as tired and restless as kageyama might have been the previous night, he finally resorts to a calm and eased stature as he sinks back into his seat until his shoulder touches yachi’s. the lack of movement on yachis’s part — all in comfort as he didn’t even notice a slight flinch from their manager at all when his shoulder makes contact with hers — tells him that this is right. it feels right. 

-

**since yachi helps him with his homework a lot, kageyama already has her number saved into his phone.** the only problem here is that he doesn’t really have a good enough reason to text yachi. there aren’t any exams or quizzes due anytime soon and there aren’t any volleyball matters for him to ask about that only yachi would know. 

basically, kageyama is stuck in a rut and he has this overwhelming urge to just text yachi out of nowhere. if this were a volleyball game, he’d hear words of encouragement in the form of a reckless yet cautiously thrown advice that says: _just do it, what will you lose anyway?_

but this is not a volleyball game and he absolutely could not — for the life of him — understand women at all. it frustrates him to no end that he only really wants to talk to her but does not really know how to make his approach, or what to tell her _when_ she asks him why he’s texting her all of a sudden. 

“tobio, you look pathetic.” his older sister emerges from the kitchens and into the living room. 

“shut up.” is his only begrudging response as he stands up and moves into his bedroom, favoring the privacy that the four walls of his bedroom could provide and not the publicity of their living room. 

he would _die_ first before he could let anyone catch him in a fit of panic over whether he should text yachi or not. 

“just text them, tobio!” his sister yells again, causing kageyama to almost drop his phone — but not before he caught it mid-air with reflexes that could have rivaled hinata’s if this is volleyball. 

except this is not volleyball and he accidentally pressed the call button on yachi’s contact information. kageyama lets out a surprised yelp and is about to press the end call button, only to be interrupted with yachi actually answering the call. 

“kageyama hey!” comes her cheerful voice from the end of the line. 

he could barely even contain his panic when he replies: “uhh hey, yachi.” 

‘ _hey yachi?’ seriously, tobio?_ he thinks. if tsukishima were here, he’d be dragged down to the goddamn ground for that lame reply, and the rest of the team would hear it from tsukishima and he’d never hear the end of it. 

at this point, kageyama tobio acknowledges the fact that he is hopeless in anything else outside of volleyball. 

there’s a giggle from the phone’s speakers and it eases kageyama’s nerves down. yachi’s laughs, her smiles, and even the little giggles here and there could very well be the weapon against his nerves right before matches. he deduces that just from this little moment right here where he finds himself relaxing at the thought of her smiling at the other end of the line. 

“you always have perfect timing, tobio. do you know that?”

his cheeks flush bright red. thankfully no one is here to see that. 

“what do you mean, yachi?” 

“i got a bit lonely here at home and i was actually thinking of asking one of my friends to hang out with me, or to call one of them. but you see… i was having trouble deciding on which one of them i would call and i’ve been spending maybe about ten minutes already just deciding — and then my phone rang and you were calling!” she laughs yet again. 

kageyama’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest. 

“you’re good at this, kageyama.” yachi adds. 

is she smiling? he hopes to god she is. and if she isn’t? he’ll figure out a way to make her smile, just like how he figured out a way to get her to open up and be alright again during that one encounter in the storage room. 

“good at what?” while he’s pretty much decided that he’s going to do his _very_ best to make sure that yachi is smiling and happy while he can, she can still be quite confusing. 

instead of answering his question, she starts an anecdote about her friends in class five and how they thought that everyone in the volleyball club is a simpleton until they met ennoshita the other day. 

like a good guy that he is, kageyama doesn’t press on the question. but rather, he just listens to her and finds himself laughing along with her as well. 

maybe he’ll thank his sister for this. 

-

**the thing about feelings is that you wouldn’t even notice them until they’re biting you in the ass.** kageyama tobio learns that the hard way, and it’s during one of the team practices too. hinata hits the ball a bit too hard against tsukishima’s still-healing pinky finger and he’s sent to the side to be cared for. 

normally it would be shimizu who would do the boys’ injuries, with her role being the team’s manager after all. but shimizu had gone off to college and the team only has yachi now — yachi who’s currently fussing over tsukishima’s injured pinky and is taping it to his ring finger. 

kageyama is in the court right now and is waiting for a receive from the people on his side of the court during the scrimmage, but all of that is just him _physically._ mentally? he’s standing next to yachi, guarding her from tsukishima’s arrogant presence. poor precious yachi shouldn’t have to spend time with that _jerk_ and his injured finger. 

should he injure his finger too? he wants the same amount of attention that yachi is giving to tsukishima, maybe if he asks hinata to hit his fingertip with one of his uncontrolled and rageful spikes he would— and a ball from narita hits kageyama square in the face. 

“shit! i’m sorry, kageyama!” narita jogs over to kageyama’s place, but it’s not quite the concern kageyama wants to receive. not even the concern coming from ennoshita and the overly enthusiastic first years is enough for him to _stop_ paying attention at how yachi seems to be delicately handling tsukishima’s slight injury. 

_yachi i’ve been hit on the face! why won’t you come to me instead of him? what if i broke my nose?_ he sulks visibly for the first time in the day, which makes narita think that it’s his fault. kageyama would have corrected him if he isn’t so concerned about yachi and tsukishima and the bout of jealousy boiling in his chest that it feels like it’s about to explode. 

“i heard you.” hinata snickers, “she’s too good for you, kageyama.” hinata adds when the rest of the team who gathered around kageyama left to go back to their normal positions.

he glares at hinata, but not before glaring at tsukishima first. 

(tsukishima doesn’t even notice yachi’s overwhelming concern and kageyama’s deadly glare. he’s too busy giving yachi instructions on how to tape his fingers together, and probably about his next moves for the practice game.) 

yep. having a crush is basically the equivalent of the end of the world now — or at least, it’s just how it is in the standards of one kageyama tobio. 

-

**it’s scarily convenient and helpful that kageyama had forgotten the fact that hinata** **_knows._ **without so much as a word coming from his teammate — and maybe his worst enemy too — he’s left alone with yachi in her place, studying for his stupid english exam. 

the reason for hinata leaving is apparently a stomach bug, but kageyama thinks that it’s just his teammates' way of extending a favor towards him — not that he needed it. hinata is _assuming_ that kageyama wanted to do something about his crush, or that he wanted to confess to yachi or something. truth is: he does not. 

sure he thinks that at this point he’s already half in love with their manager (if not already fully submerged in the pool of love all because yachi is so… _her_ ), but he doesn’t feel like it needs immediate action. in fact, he doesn’t feel like he should do anything at all. 

being yachi’s boyfriend may be an honor for him, but he’s entirely certain that yachi would not even look at him like that. not at all. 

“you seem to be spaced out, tobio.” 

his eyes immediately find hers and it’s the first time he notices that she calls him by his first name. it sounds like music to his ears. 

“it’s nothing, yachi. let’s start?” his hand is on his nape, nervous and awkward. it’s the first time he’s been left alone with yachi since the day in the storage room. he doesn’t really know where to get the confidence to even speak properly in front of her anymore. 

“please just call me hitoka,” she beams before taking the spot next to him, which prompts kageyama to take a sharp intake of breath. 

for someone who used to be so nervous around the team, yachi— hitoka has surely gotten bold. though she still carries the air of nervousness around her when she’s in unfamiliar situations, she has eased herself into their everyday lives without so much as a flinch, and kageyama is in awe of that. 

this time around, it’s kageyama who’s nervous. he can feel the drum of his heart against his ribcage, as if his chest is a vessel and his heart is a large surge of water waiting to burst out and pour all over the place. 

there are so many things he wants to say to her at this moment. starting from his gratitude towards her that he cannot seem to properly get across no matter how hard he’d tried. next would be how he enjoys her company, that being with her gives him an immense amount of joy that not even sending a perfect toss could rival. he wants to tell her that he thinks she’s incomparably beautiful, both inside and out. 

and he wants to tell her how much he loves her. 

but he settles for this: “alright, hitoka.” 

the smile on her face is embedded into his mind forever. 

-

**opportunities to be with yachi often come kageyama's way.** even without the interference of one hinata shoyo, he gets to spend a lot of time with yachi and most of them are coincidental. 

(or that’s what he thinks.) 

he’s deciding whether he should get yogurt or milk from the vending machine when yachi— hitoka comes towards him, holding her wallet in her hand and looking like she’s about to head straight for the vending machine. 

“oh tobio, you’re here.” she greets him with the usual smile on her face, one that she uses on everyone. 

sometimes he wonders what her smiles mean. does it mean that she’s happy to see him? or is it just a permanent fixture on her beautiful face? would there ever be a day where hitoka wouldn’t smile at him so nicely? 

he doesn’t want that day to come. 

“yeah. i just wanted to get one for lunch.” he motions to the vending machine, “do you want anything?” 

“some orange juice would be fine, thanks.” she moves to hand him her wallet, but kageyama shakes his head and gently moves her hand away. 

paying for her drink at lunch is the least he could do for her. it’s the best way to show gratitude towards the girl who’s taking care of him as much as she can in her own little ways. even if it just means handing him towels or water bottles after practice, or tutoring him in the subjects he couldn’t understand (that means every subject). sure it may not be much for her, but to kageyama, it’s everything. 

and he really just loves her like that. 

he takes notice of the blush on her face when he hands her the orange juice she asked for. she resembles the nervous hitoka that he’d met during the time shimizu introduced her to the team, except she doesn’t seem so scared this time. it’s more a look of surprise. 

one thing is for sure though: hitoka is cute when she blushes. 

“thank you, tobio.” hitoka doesn’t leave though, she lingers for a few seconds too long, even scratching the back of her neck as she looks at kageyama and then the ground. 

“is there something else you want, hitoka?”

“doyoumaybewanttoeatlunchwithme?” she blushes even more now, and kageyama couldn’t help but to smile. 

“can you repeat that? i don’t think i got it right the first time…” he would have smirked if he’s confident enough, but the thing is that he’s nervous too. maybe even more nervous than her. 

“do you want to eat lunch with me? i can come with you to your classroom to pick up your lunchbox and we can eat in my classroom — oh wait, my friends would be noisy if we do that. we can just pick up my lunchbox from my classroom and go to yours, instead. would that be better?” she rambles on and it takes a few beats before her eyes widen, “wait no! i mean… only if you would like to! i didn’t mean to accidentally make plans for us! i was just presenting you with options you know, it’s okay if you didn’t want to eat lunch with—” 

kageyama places his hands on her shoulders, and smiles at her — or he tries his best to give her a charming and reassuring smile anyway. he hopes that it doesn’t come off as a weird contortion of facial muscles. 

“i’ll eat lunch with you, hitoka. let’s get your lunchbox? i’ll walk you to class after.” 

so he did. 

they didn’t eat in silence, contrary to what other people might assume. hitoka tells him anecdotes animatedly paired with hand gestures and facial expressions that matched every single event in the story. kageyama listens intently, hanging on to every word she says, and genuinely laughs because hitoka really never runs out of funny stories to tell him. 

deep inside his chest, kageyama’s heart is beating so loud that it could rival the sound of multiple drums playing simultaneously. he feels at ease like this, being with hitoka and listening to her while telling her about this day as well. somehow, it feels just right, like he doesn’t have to do anything else but this. 

it feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

and if any of the other first years noticed kageyama and yachi eating lunch and laughing together in the classroom of 1-3, they never said anything about it. 

(but they will, eventually)

-

**he doesn’t think of it as a big deal, at least, not until hinata tells him about yachi’s admirers.** the admirer’s aren’t just from karasuno high too, there’s the setter from aoba johsai who walked all the way to karasuno high yesterday just to ask yachi if she’s free sometime soon. 

there is blood boiling underneath his skin, and kageyama wants to put a stop to it, but putting a stop to the boiling blood would mean that he should put a stop to yachi’s amount of admirers, and to do that he must… tell her that he’s in love with her. 

he guesses he’s just going to continue suffering then. 

“i don’t see why i should do anything about it. does one immediately have to tell someone they like them?” he asks hinata. the question may sound stupid, but he does mean it. 

“well if you want their unlimited time and attention and affection… then i guess so. and don’t fool yourself, i saw you glaring at tsukishima when yachi is busy taping his fingers together.” 

he glares at hinata before gently pushing his teammate away from him. kageyama doesn’t want to be hit with reality today. 

instead, he thinks of the incoming balls as the faces of yachi’s admirers (and maybe tsukishima too) before sending it to hinata to spike. 

all of the tosses come perfectly, resulting in a loud thump on the ground upon hinata’s spikes.

it feels good. 

-

**the attachment from kageyama’s seniors are unbelievable sometimes.** they’re already in their second year and sawamura, sugawara, and asahi have all gone to their respective paths after high school. but the three seniors always manage to save some time to visit the karasuno boys’ volleyball club despite their busy schedules. 

coach ukai’s store is crowded after practice, with the reunion of the entire team — plus shimizu who is very rarely seen after she graduated. everyone seems to be having fun, all cheery and weightless as they catch up to one another after a few months of not being able to play with one another as a team. 

kageyama is perfectly content with sitting in front of the store with his chin propped on his hand when sugawara takes the seat next to him. 

“i hope you don’t mind if i sit here, kageyama.” he smiles, and kageyama only shrugs. not like there’s any harm in sitting with sugawara, right? 

“hinata told me about yachi…” his senior cuts straight to the chase and kageyama has to remind himself that this is not hinata and therefore he cannot exactly talk back. 

what he _will_ do though is to have a few _words_ with hinata about this. it shouldn’t have to be a big deal, it really shouldn’t. but yet it feels like it is, like he has to do some grand gesture instead of just being around yachi and helping her in all the ways he can. why must he waste his time formulating a plan to confess when he’s sure that she doesn’t even like him like that? 

plus, he doesn’t exactly know how to deal with heartbreak. so there’s that. 

“that little shit.” kageyama responds through gritted teeth. 

“oh— sorry, kageyama i didn’t realize it was supposed to be a secret.” sugawara chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “yachi won’t bite. not at all. i’m sure you’d be surprised if you tried telling her.” 

sugawara left and joined the others. kageyama watches as his senior ruffles the hair of tsukishima who looks irritated, but couldn’t exactly do anything about it. from his peripheral vision, he sees yachi and kiyoko comparing notebooks while eating popsicles. 

he wants to approach yachi, and maybe try like what sugawara had advised him. he trusts his senior enough to know that his words weren’t spoken so recklessly — that he does mean whatever he said. but he feels like tonight is not the time. 

the moon rises above the mountains and he watches, thinking about how love is way more confusing than english, japanese literature, and train station routes altogether. 

-

**kageyama had never really been injured — not until today.** it’s a practice match against dateko for the third time in the year, and he feels as though he’s out of it today. _completely_ out of it. the accuracy of his sets are alright, but he couldn’t quite seem to get a good grip on the game apart from delivering alright sets to his teammates. 

he leaps from the back row in order to set the ball for hinata when he feels his ankle twisting from the way he leapt. _shit._ and then he falls to the ground, clutching his ankle in pain. 

the practice match stops just until he’s escorted out of the court, and the freshman setter is substituted in. he doesn’t even need to look to know that his ankle is swollen and that it’s very much sprained — he wouldn’t be able to walk properly for at least a few days because of this. 

yachi— hitoka approaches him and she looks like she’s about to cry. 

“oh no…” and then she starts to repeat her expression, “w-we have to take you to the infirmary, t-tobio! wh-what if you couldn’t w-walk anymore!” a single tear slips out from the corner of hitoka’s eyes and kageyama would have laughed if he wasn’t in so much pain. 

“i’m alright, hitoka.” he forces out a smile through gritted teeth, which he realizes must have looked a bit scary. “i think i’m going to need help getting to the infirmary, though.” 

“i’ll take him coach!” hitoka squeaks out and motions for kageyama to put his arm around her shoulder. 

“are you sure, yachi? i mean… kageyama is… and you’re…” coach ukai looks genuinely worried for yachi.

“i got it, coach. i swear. come here, tobio.” her voice is shaking, but kageyama admires how she seems to be put together this time. a huge difference from the yachi he knew when they first met, the one who trembled and was nervous about basically everything. 

there are butterflies in his stomach, and he knows that there shouldn’t be because he’s goddamn injured and he _should_ be more worried about his ankle instead of pining for their manager. but that’s the thing with love, it changes people especially when they’re around the person they’re in love with. 

kageyama has enough adrenaline in him to make it to the infirmary without being too much of a pain for hitoka. but by the time he’s already on the bed, with his feet elevated on a pillow, he already feels the aching pain surging through his ankle and pulsing to the rest of his foot. he grits his teeth and thinks about just how many days of practice he’d have to miss in order to recover as smooth and as fast as he can. 

“t-tobio… how is it?” hitoka’s biting her lip and kageyama finds it attractive… not that he’d ever tell her that. 

“eh… it’ll be fine.” he deadpans, even though the pain is pulsing and it _hurts._ he doesn’t know how he’s going to make it home today at all — maybe he’ll call his sister, or whatever. 

“you have to be more careful next time, tobio.” there’s a forlorn look on hitoka’s face and kageyama _hates_ that it’s because of his ankle. 

“hey, i’m going to be fine. it’s not like i haven’t sprained an ankle before.” he tries his best to sound reassuring. tries to imitate sawamura when he’s motivating the team by telling them that they will win because they’ve done it before. like sugawara when he’s trying to raise up the morale of a dispirited teammate during match timeouts. 

“that’s not gonna work, tobio.” hitoka sighs, “i’m always going to worry about you.” 

the statement goes over kageyama’s head at first, and he only realizes that the sentence probably holds more weight than it does when he’s lying back on his bed after being picked up by his sister from the school. 

his heart is screaming so loudly that not even the song they listened to during that one bus ride to tokyo could drown it out. it’s wailing out for her name, wanting and wanting to be able to tell hitoka that it _feels_ everything for her. that it loves her. that it wants nothing more but happiness for her. 

in hopes of getting rid of his thoughts about his feelings about yachi, he tries to raise the volume of the song even more. it proves to be a wrong decision because all he could think of is her and how the voices of the artists and the song’s message just seems to be perfect for them. that it describes them in every way. 

this is the first time kageyama gives up. he gives up on trying to drown out his thoughts about hitoka and how he’s in love with her, and welcomes it wholeheartedly instead. he allows the song to play on a loop until he falls asleep with nothing but thoughts about the blonde. 

-

**the weather forecast lied.** during the morning news, they informed the people of miyagi that it would be a sunny day, but what the meteorologists didn’t know is that it would rain today. it’s not harsh by any means, it’s just like any normal rain. kageyama could have hated it and cursed it out, after all, he’s never really been a big fan of the rain. but the rain pushed him to hitoka today. 

it starts off like this: practice has been called off for the day and kageyama finally makes a proper decision once and for all to channel his restlessness by studying in the library. of course his efforts have been in vain because with no one to explain the concepts to him, he doesn’t exactly know what to do with the information he’s looking at. 

everything he needs to memorize is already embedded in his head that he could recite it even while tossing to hinata during practice. he’s hopeless in math and he doesn’t know shit about japanese literature or english. so really, kageyama just maybe wasted about an hour and a half of his time staring at unknown concepts that he couldn’t process. 

when he steps out of the school’s main entrance, the sun is still out and the clouds seem to be in good condition. he begins his walk home when he notices hitoka clutching multiple rolls of paper in her arms. 

“hitoka!” he calls out and jogs after her, taking the rolls of paper with a smile. 

“tobio! hi!” the smile on her face is as beautiful as ever. kageyama’s heart feels like it’s about to explode any second now. 

“what’s all these?” 

“brand new posters for the volleyball team! it’s not long before the next tournament and i just want to make sure we’ll have enough funds for the jerseys and everything.” it amazes kageyama how she seems to have everything under control now. 

without hitoka, the team would be in shambles. he’s sure of it. 

“you’re going to put these up right?” 

hitoka nods. 

“alright let me help you.” kageyama smiles and they make their way to the town, placing the posters on different surfaces where it could be seen. 

while they’re walking, hitoka keeps a cheerful smile with her. she hums the same song they’d listened to back in the bus ride and kageyama feels himself dissolving in her presence. he’s never been this nervous before — not even during important tournaments where he has to perform magnificently for the team. 

being in hitoka’s presence is an irony in itself. he feels the giddiness and the excitement deep within his chest, but on the outside, he tries his best not to show it. favoring to show his love for her in subtle ways instead of pouring it all out for her and the world to see. 

besides, hitoka doesn’t even know about his feelings. he thinks that maybe it’s better off that way, even with the lingering thoughts at the back of his head saying: _what if she feels the same?_

the last of the posters have been placed and they start to make their way to the train station. they walk side by side, with kageyama wanting to close the gap between them, to hold her hand while they go through the streets of miyagi. but he settles for switching places with her on the sidewalk instead. with kageyama being closer to the road than she is. 

“this feels nice.” hitoka closes her eyes and stops in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“what does?” kageyama stops in front of her, looking back to see just how beautiful she is under the ray of the sun with her eyes closed and her lips curled up to a smile. 

“walking like this. there’s something refreshing about finding your way in the streets.” hitoka opens her eyes and kageyama immediately looks away, not wanting to be caught in his admiration. 

he hums in response and they walk together for a few more yards. 

suddenly, he feels droplets of rain on his head. it’s not long before the sky starts to pour, and he frantically looks for an umbrella in his bag — but there’s none. and by the looks of it, hitoka doesn’t have one either. 

with all the confidence and love in his heart, kageyama bravely envisions himself as the guy in those shoujo mangas. he grabs hitoka’s hand and breaks into a run, seeking for the nearest place with a canopy to shield both of them from the rain. 

he runs slower than he usually does. there’s something romantic about holding hitoka’s hand under the rain while running, and besides, he doesn’t want her to trip as she tries to catch up to his running speed. so here they are, running under the rain with their clothes drenched and their hair dripping by the time they reached the waiting shed. 

there are no words spoken between the two of them when they reach the empty waiting shed. hitoka stands close to the edge, the splashes from the puddles bringing droplets of water to the tips of hitoka’s shoes. she’s looking at the sky with a far away look on her face and kageyama watches her in admiration. 

water droplets are on her eyelashes and he watches as the droplets disappear every time hitoka blinks. her eyes are beaming, like she’s seeing the world around them differently and kageyama wants to _know_ what it is that she sees in the world. he thinks about what it would be like if he moves closer to her, if he grasps enough bravery to pull her close and press his lips to the corner of hers. he thinks about her smile and how it brightens up his day immediately, like hitoka holds the key to the worlds’ best days that aren’t even comparable to tournaments. 

he thinks about what it would be like if he holds her hand, or what it’s like to be able to pull her close to his chest without no reason at all — just to hug her because he wants to. 

he thinks that he loves her. 

hitoka looks at him with wide eyes and it takes him a few more seconds before he realizes that _oh,_ he just said that last part out loud. 

“you— you what?” hitoka asks with disbelief written across her features. 

he already blurted it out anyway, so might as well. “i love you.” kageyama shrugs, downplaying it as if he hasn’t been harboring these feelings for her over the past few months. 

“but why?” she tilts her head to the side, as if she’s trying to look for something more. as if there’s more to the picture than what he lets on. 

“i just do.” he takes the leap of faith this time and reaches for her hand, intertwining their fingers together while they watch the rain fall off the waiting shed’s roof. 

a few minutes pass by before she replies. “i love you too, tobio.” 

he doesn’t need to ask why because he knows that her answer would be the same anyway. there’s no sugawara to tell him that, nor any third party source to confirm. he just _feels_ it in his heart, and that’s enough for him. 

he asks her if he could kiss her, though. 

hitoka says yes with a smile. 

-

_i always pushed away_

_always pushed away_

_scared they'd go away_

_so I watched them leave_

_didn't say nothing_

_but with you I think it's different_

**Author's Note:**

> the title, lyrics in the fic, and the song referenced is 100% it just is by eaj. this is me telling you to stan jae park ♥ anyway i've always wanted to write a first love fic and i think kageyachi is the perfect pairing for it. we'll hold our hands together while we canoe this ship together <3


End file.
